The Spot Where I Died.

Cliff Hotel, Gwebert-on-the-Sea, Wales

What do you do when you find yourself standing on the very spot that has dominated your nightmares ever since you can remember?  Run?  Scream for help?  Faint?  What would you do?

In my case, I just stood there in total awe.  My mind was reeling.  All those years of having that same nightmare over & over again, then to find out the spot I had seen so many times in my dreams in which I had every rock memorized was truly a real place.  I was right there.  I was looking out at the same view I had had in my nightmare countless times before.

The first time I can remember having the nightmare I was 4.  The nightmare is always exactly the same, like replaying an old beloved movie, except I hated this one and wish I had never seen it in the first place. 

In my dream I’m a grown woman.  I’m walking along a cliff.  The wind is blowing my long black hair back away from my face.  I’m dressed in a long white nightgown that has me completely covered from neck to ankle.  Looking at my face and my hands I can see that I’m very thin.  I look like I’ve been sick for a very long time. 

I begin to walk closer & closer to the cliff’s edge until I’m right up along the edge.  I look down and can see the sea crashing against the black rocks below.  Suddenly, the wind tangles my nightgown around my ankles.  I trip, lose my footing and suddenly find myself falling.  I can see the rocks rushing up to meet me.  I close my eyes & wake up just as my body is about to be smashed on the rocks.

When I was little I would always wake from this nightmare screaming.  It instilled in me a fear of water so I never learned to swim.  I would never go with my friends to the pool.  The thought of submerging my body in water filled me with an overpowering sense of dread.  I never even took baths, only showers, due to my fear of being submerged in water. 

Flash forward to 1989.   I am now 26 years old and still suffer from the same nightmare.  My parents gave me an all-expenses paid 2-week trip to England, Cornwall & Wales as a birthday & graduation gift that year.  I went on a tour through the History Book Club with the theme, “The Real & Legendary King Arthur.”  We saw all the sites connected with the Celtic Chief upon whom Arthur was based as well as places mentioned in Le Morte D’Arthur and later works about the legendary king.  I can honest say that for me, a born Anglophile, it was a trip of a lifetime and the best two weeks of my entire life.

Halfway through the trip we were on our way to our hotel in Wales.  It is located in Gwebert-on-the-Sea and is called The Cliff Hotel.  As our small motor coach approached the hotel suddenly the horizon line began to look very familiar to me.  I asked everyone in our tour group & the guide & driver if they knew if a movie had been filmed there because I knew I had seen these hills before.  No one could tell me a movie had been filmed there.  Considering I had already had some very strange experiences that I had shared with the group one of them quipped, “Maybe you had a past life here and you’re coming back home!”  I remember everyone laughing as they thought the comment was cute.

We checked into the hotel and before dinner I decided to go on a walk on my own.  I could hear the waves crashing against the cliff so I walked toward the cliff.  Down on rocks below I could see some seals.  I wanted to get a better view of them so I could get a nice picture so I began walking along the cliff’s edge, but being very careful not to get too close.  When I got about a quarter mile north of the hotel I looked down at the water and suddenly there it was – the waves crashing against the rocks, the pattern of rocks protruding up from the water – the very spot of my nightmares. 

Gwebert-on-the-Sea, Wales

It hit me in one massive rush.  I was standing on the very spot my nightmare took place.  I remember my stomach turning over and feeling like I was on the verge of vomiting.  Suddenly, the whole world seemed to tilt at a forty-five degree angle. I could feel my knees begin to give way so I slowly backed away from the cliff.  I fell backwards onto the soft grass, landing with a resounding thud.  Two friends from my group who were also out walking had seen me along the cliff’s edge and had been calling to me concerned I was getting too close, but I couldn’t hear them through the roar of the waves as they crashed against the rocks.  They reached me a few seconds after I fell and after checking nothing was broken they helped me up.

It was then I told them my story.  Thankfully, they were both open minded and immediately believed me saying how fascinating it was and that I must have been fated to stand on that very spot once again.  They helped me to the edge and each held me as I leaned over and took a picture of the very spot where a previous life of mine had come to a grisly end.

After dinner that night getting ready for the next day I bathed.  Although my room came with the option, I decided to fill the bath.  I got in and had the most lovely soak. It was the first bath I had had since I had been a toddler.  Since then, I prefer baths over showers. I still have no desire to learn to swim, but I have been healed of my fear of water.  The nightmare also stopped. I never had the dream again once I visited The Cliff Hotel at Gwebert-on-the-Sea in Wales. 

My experience proves that if we can confront traumatic events from our past lives, either in meditation, past life recalls, or actually visiting the very spot, that we can be healed from traumas we have carried forward from our previous incarnations.  It is healthy to face one’s fears because only by facing your fears can you ever hope to vanquish them.